Writing a new chapter in life, it's hard to let go from where life left us off. We just have to move on even when we don't know where it's going to take us. All we can do is perpare for the worse and work for what we hope will lay ahead.

I know, life isn't so grand at times. Sometimes we let things go by without even thinking what could had been. It's something that I felt was owed to me, now things have changed. There's only little that remains, the memories that are like bits of dust. Time to set things free, instead of trying to hold on any longer. I wish to give back to what was taken and make amenment.  

Well, not much of a emontional type of guy. I was thinking about going to confession soon and try to start a guilt free soul. I need to get back in touch with god, for I've commited many sins against my fellow beings. Time to go to bed.

As of lately, I've been thinking seriously about closing my xanga account. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I feel as if it's useless to have and that I might better off be without it. Who knows, I might open another one when I feel it's the right time.

Today I've taken a bunch of pictures of all kinds of flowers and orchids, there's so a bunch of them that I plan to post later when I get back to the city. I would bring sum buds back to the states to grow, but my uncle told me they might be ban and I can get fined for doing so. Instead I will gave some to my uncle to grow in their garden for taking care of me lately.

I've bought a jacket for about $20 for my trip next week to the northern part of the country where the weather is my colder. My tour is 15 days long and I will travel to a new city about daily.

I'm the oldest male in my family and there is so much that is expected of me with being in an Asian household. It's so hard of a task put onto me that I'm kind of afraid of what lays ahead. My dad is so weak nowadays, that we don't know how much time he's got left. Then my uncle was fussing at me, tell me of what a let down I am. wtf .

Just growing depress in a way again. Trying to comfort myself but that's really no way around things at times. It's so unfair, I work so hard and try to make things better. It's like the people all around got it going good for them. Maybe there is something wrong with me. How am I suppose to take care of all these things in life?

Yes, I need to be more positive. I've tried over and over. If it was only that easy.